# 4. The Ballad of Lord DonnieBob

# 4. The Ballad of DonnieBob

Revelation and Re-Birth

The birth of Lord DonnieBob as a full-fledged alter ego took place one night in 2006 at the movie Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. As I sat there watching Will Ferrell in the title role, I thought to myself, “What self-respecting race car driver would be so dumb as to give himself two first names?” Almost as soon as I asked the question, the answer hit me like the bursting of a 15-watt lightbulb—“Well duh, don’t all NASCAR drivers get to have two first names!?

What happened next was a true miracle. As I sat there in that darkened theater, suddenly, the heavens parted! The Angels dropped down, blowing trumpet. Some were blowing trombone, doing a little Ragtime for me. Others were singing hallelujahs.

And that’s when it all hit me like a great big mind-blowing revelation! “Yeah. YEAH! AND WHY CAN’T I HAVE TWO FIRST NAMES TOO?!”

As I was driving home later that night though I got to thinking. My given name is Donald Robert Clasen so that would make my all-American NASCAR name Don Bob. I was OK with that but concerned it sounded too much like a Southern cracker, and what would the Brothers think of that? On the other hand, Donnie Bobbie sounded way too gay. So I settled on DonnieBob, shrunken with no space between the two to accommodate the Internet age. Thus, Lord DonnieBob is a trademarked, wholly-owned subsidiary of Donald Robert Clasen esq.

It also serves as something of a master folder within which are kept all the files of my ever burgeoning multiple personalities. This proved to be very fortuitous, as my multiples had been metastasizing for some time and needed a master persona to integrate them all. Thanks Will Ferrell.

Having been brushed now by a touch of glory, it only made sense that it wouldn’t be long before the Almighty called me to up and move to Hollywood.

# 5. The Friar Tuck of Tinseltown